


Tanaka is a chicken nugget, too good, too pure

by karenae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, dfab nonbinary tanaka, mtf saeko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 23:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4157337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karenae/pseuds/karenae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saeko takes Ryuu's place for the day, unexpected things happen as a result!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Give Me One Good Reason

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the first chapter of my fic. The title of the chapter is a song title from one of my favorite bands. Unbeta'd.
> 
> This is my first Haikyuu!! fic, and the only fic I've ever finished and fully published. Please let me know if I mess up on characterizations or on details about Saeko and Ryuu being trans. Or let me know what you liked/didn't like!
> 
> I hope you guys like it

-Bzzzt-

Ryuu’s phone vibrates on the table next to them, interrupting the ambient noise of Saeko’s videogame. They pick up their phone and see a new message from Noya.

**From: Mr. Noya**

**hey ryuu, just wanted 2 let you know im skipping school tmrw, i kinda need a break from everything to get my head on str8 :P**

Ryuu nods. They’ve noticed how Nishinoya’s been a bit out of sorts lately. He’s been distracted and distant during social interactions. Ryuu’s heard that Nishinoya has been acting weird in class too, staring at the board instead of sleeping in class, drawing endless spirals in his notebooks instead of the usual doodles about Shimizu’s beauty. 

-Bzzzt-

A second message pops up soon after the first.

**From: Mr. Noya**

**and u should come over after school n visit me so i get in my quota 4 human interaction for the day so my mom wont b mad lol**  

A half-formed idea takes root in Ryuu’s mind as they turn to Saeko with a twinkle in their eye.

“Hey Sis, what are you up to tomorrow from around the time I leave for school to the time I get back from practice?”

Saeko responds without taking her attention from her game.

“Uhh...I think I’ve got some chores around the house, but nothing else to do? I was thinking of doing some online shopping...”

Suddenly suspicious, she gives Ryuu a sidelong glance as she asks, “why?”

As they begin texting Nishinoya, Ryuu replies, “I have a favor to ask.”

Saeko looks down at them quizzically from her seat on the couch, her legs crossed and full of snacks.  

“What is it?”

 

* * *

 

 _I can’t believe I’m doing this, and at my age, too. I'm a college student dammit. Let’s just hope my hair stays under this hat or this will all go to hell,_ Saeko thinks as she makes her way to her old high school, this time wearing the boys uniform.

_Ryuu owes me for this. He better do a good job cheering up lil’ bro libero or else._

_Goshdammit! I have the worst itch under this damn binder. RYUU YOU BETTER NOT BE TAKING THIS FOR GRANTED YOU LIL CHICKEN NUGGET._

After looking into the sky and shaking her fist at Ryuu’s imagined face, she continues down her route to Karasuno. While walking, Saeko reviews Ryuu’s class schedule in her head, and prays to whatever deities might be listening that this will work.

She takes a deep breath before stepping through the school gates.

_Alright, let’s fucking do this._

 

* * *

 

Classes have ended for the day, thank the powers that be.

Saeko walks towards the gym, glad to be done with high school forever.

The teachers were about what she remembered, boring for the most part and doing their best to be mediocre. Lunch went without a hitch, Ryuu had told her enough about his friends that she could act the part without arousing suspicion. It helped that she and Ryuu were a lot a like, not only in physical appearance but personality-wise too. She even managed to take her estrogen shot for the week and anti-androgen pills out the view of prying eyes when she stopped by the bathroom during a break in between classes.

The last hurdle to get through was practice. During their planning the previous night, neither Saeko nor Ryuu thought this far ahead. Saeko had been thinking about it since the beginning of last period. There was no way she could fake playing volleyball.

Luckily, improvisation is one of Saeko’s skills and she knows just what Ryuu would say in this situation. The risky thing was she doesn’t know if it will get her out of practicing or not. 

She enters the gym, looking for her target. She spots Sawamura talking with Sugawara. 

 _Hell, here it goes. If it doesn’t work I can just drop the charade. Ryuu’s teammates would probably be understanding._  

“Daichi, **sir** , I’m worried about Nishinoya. He didn’t come to school today, and I was thinking I should go check up on him right away after classes ended. So, despite how awesome I am, how I’m an integral part of practice, and not to mention I would be missing out on the **gorgeous** Miss Kiyoko’s graceful presence, I _humbly_ request that you _please_ let me skip practice today?” Saeko says this displaying the emotion of each phrase with her body language and inflection.

 _Fucking nailed it!_ Saeko thought smugly to herself. _Ryuu would be so proud._  

Daichi scratches his head and looks to Sugawara before answering. Sugawara nods.

“Well, since you haven’t been slacking as much recently, and because Nishinoya’s health is important to the team, I’ll let you go this time.” His expression turned suddenly threatening. “But don’t think this will be a regular thing. And if I find out you’re lying to me and you two are just goofing around, I will end you.”

After saying his piece, Daichi gives Saeko one last serious glare before turning around and starting practice. 

“HINATA, KAGEYAMA, STOP GOOFING OFF AND GET YOUR HEADS IN THE GAME.”

Sugawara comes up next to Saeko and pats her on the back.

Smiling he says, “Tanaka, you go make sure Nishinoya is alright.  We’ll hold down the fort here today.”

Saeko flinches a little when Suga gives her a knowing wink. She quickly glances around before immediately reverting into character.

With a victorious whoop and shit-eating grin, Saeko slams Suga’s back and says “You betcha, thanks Suga!”

Startled, Suga smiles back at Saeko before following after Daichi. 

 

_Mission Success!_

 


	2. Dammit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuu managed to help cheer Yuu up, they got ice cream together and goofed off a lot. Yuu feels much better after having a day to get his head in the right space. Saeko's class notes were about as good as Ryuu's would've been, so no complaints there. Ryuu totally owes their sister a huuuuge favor to be cashed in later. This chapter deals with what happens as a result of their switcheroo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter title is also a song title. It's also a homage to Ryuu's favorite phrase, dammit! 
> 
> Also fyi for those that may not know, the prank the boys are pulling is called "turtling" at least where I'm from. It's when you take out all the contents of someone's backpack or bag, turn the bag inside out, put everything back in, and then close the bag. It's a minor inconvenience except for the fact that it can be kind of hard to get it unzipped since the parts you grab on to unzip are inside the bag. It's not impossible though, just have to push the zipper with your finger until it opens enough to grab hold of the tab and pull it open the rest of the way.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

A few days later...

 

Hinata and Yamaguchi try their best not to rush into the clubroom, with Tsukishima trailing casually behind them.

“Quick, quick, quick! We’ve got to hurry before everyone gets here. Hinata, you get Tanaka’s bag, I’ll get Nishinoya’s. Tsukki~ are sure you won’t help?” Yamaguchi says as he looks around the room for Nishinoya’s bag. He finds it and immediately begins taking stuff out.

“I’m sure. This is really stupid, and I want no part in it,” Tsukishima replies. _I want nothing to do with this except watch the stupidity happen before my very eyes. #qualityentertainment #whatarepeople #idontunderstandmypeers_

Hinata diligently starts taking stuff out of Tanaka’s bag, taking care not to rush too much and give into the urge to dump everything out. Yamaguchi said not to because people might have breakable things in their bags. _Even when planning a prank, Yamaguchi is thoughtful of others. I’m glad he’s on the team!! Bakayama on the other hand..._

“Bakayama better be doing his part in this” Hinata mutters under his breath as he takes out Tanaka’s school notebooks, setting them aside on the ground next to him.

“This time it’s his turn to be the strongest decoy. Where’s your unshakable trust of him now??” Yamaguchi responds.

Hinata flushes and says, “That...that only applies to when he tosses to me.”

When Hinata looks over at Yamaguchi to check his progress, he’s shocked to see Yamaguchi already putting stuff back in Nishinoya’s turned inside-out bag. Hinata quickens his pace taking stuff out of the bag; he doesn’t even notice what he’s grabbing at this point. He hurriedly turns the bag inside out as he hears Yamaguchi zip Nishinoya’s bag closed.

“Hinata, let me help, we don’t have much time left. I think I hear Kageyama trying to stall the upperclassmen outside.” Yamaguchi quickly walks over to Hinata’s side and starts picking up stuff back to put in Tanaka’s bag. His hand reaches down and he picks up...

_Tampons and pads?_

“Why are you stopping, we only have a few—“ Hinata stops midsentence when he sees what Yamaguchi is holding in his hand.

“Are those?”

At this, Tsukishima looks over. 

Yamaguchi nods. He asks aloud, “why would Tanaka have tampons in his bag?”

Tsukishima thinks: _dammit, I should have told them not to turtle Tanaka’s bag. I wasn’t thinking. Shit. Shit shit shit. It’ll be fine. I think. Hinata is an idiot and will believe whatever I say and Yamaguchi will go with along it until I can explain to him later. I hope Tanaka doesn’t care if Yams knows, heck I don’t know if he’s okay with me knowing?_

He says dismissively, “what do you mean, why would he have it in his bag? Why does it matter?  Shut up and finish the job you idiots.”

“It’s obvious why, Tsukishima! BUT why does he have a syringe in his bag?” Hinata asks. 

Tsukishima’s surprised expression changes to startle when he hears Kageyama yelling outside the door.

“WAIT! SUGAWARA, TEACH ME HOW TO SMILE WITHOUT SCARING PEOPLE!”

With Hinata holding a plastic bag containing a syringe and Yamaguchi holding an unused tampon, the door to the clubroom opens. The three first-years are frozen in place.

Kageyama is the first to enter the room, and following close behind with a bemused smile on his face was Sugawara. Nishinoya was next, immediately noticing his stuff had been messed with.

“NICE ONE GUYS! CLASSIC PRANK. MAKES ME PROUD TO BE YOUR UPPERCLASSMEN!” Nishinoya commends them as he fiddles with the uncooperative zipper on his bag.

The rest wander into the clubroom, ignoring Nishinoya’s outburst and instead focusing on the pranksters frozen in the corner.

“Guys whaddyall staring at?” Tanaka asks as they step into the room and notice Daichi, Suga, Ennoshita, and Asahi staring in disbelief at the corner of the room where they put their stuff.

After shoving their way in front of Asahi to see what’s going on, they see that they’re also a victim of the first-years’ pranks. At first they laugh because the two didn’t finish the job in time. Then they realize what Hinata and Yamaguchi are holding.

 


	3. Obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here's the climax of the story! We find out how everyone responds to Tanaka's possessions and get a resolution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter also has a song title from that same band as its name! Bonus points if you know the band. If you don't I'll do a reveal in the notes at the end of the final chapter!
> 
> This one is the one I feel like I might have some stuff to work on, so let me know if anything is offensive or inaccurate!
> 
> Have fun!

 

Kageyama is the first to say anything, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Tanaka, you’re weirder than I thought. You keep syringes and lady unmentionables in your bag just for shits and giggles????”

“Vulgar! Bakayama, don’t say shit!! It’s gross. We’ve been over this!!” Hinata chimes in, always ready and able to bug Kageyama no matter the circumstance. He pipes down as he notices everyone is still kind of quiet and confused about the whole Tanaka-keeps-tampons-pads-and-a-syringe-in-his-bag thing. He doesn’t really get what everyone’s confused about, but figures he should play along.

The room is silent as people try and process the situation.

 

_Is Tanaka more of a pervert than I suspected?_

_Wow, that’s really messed up._

_DOES TANAKA SELL/DO DRUGS? DOES HE SMUGGLE THEM IN WITH TAMPONS????_

_Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, is Tanaka okay? The room is suffocating right now._

_My suspicions were right. I guess I should add tampons to our list of stuff to bring on matches and training camps._

 

The atmosphere in the room vibrated with suspicion, worry, confusion, and second-hand embarrassment, with a vibe of “if-you-shit-on-my-friend-I-will-eat-you-alive” generating off of Nishinoya.

Nishinoya looks over at Tanaka, worried. Tanaka manages to reassure him with an expression of “bro, I got this.” Nishinoya sends back “bro, I believe in you and I will be here for you no matter what.” Tanaka is moved by the support of their best friend.

Daichi sighs.

“Explain,” he demands. He doesn’t have the patience to deal with this ~~shit~~ crap anymore.

“What? Oh, the syringe isn’t mine, it’s my sisters.” Tanaka says, kind of confused why everyone is freaking out about this anyway. It’s just a syringe. It’s unusual, sure, but not anything to be alarmed about.

“SAEKO DOES DRUGS???!!!”

Tanaka snaps, “WHO SAID THAT? HUH? HUUHHHH? What the fuck is wrong with you? Is that how you guys see my sister? I mean _she’s no angel_ and she’s a  punk, but she wouldn’t do drugs. She just needs to... she has a hormone deficiency dammit. It’s her weekly injection sheesh. I mean, I know she’s a college student and I guess anyone could do drugs, but you’re just judging her on a **syringe**?! Drugs are a serious topic dammit!!”

Daichi and Nishinoya firmly grip Tanaka’s shoulders to calm them down before they go off any more.

Daichi asks calmly, “if it’s Saeko’s, why is it in your bag? Why would she leave it there and not throw it away or something?”

“She borrowed my bag, duh. We borrow each other’s stuff all the time. And they have pretty strict rules about disposing syringes. She has to bring them back to the pharmacy when she gets her refills. I mean come on guys, why are you all suspicious about this? It’s kinda bringing me down knowing this is what you think of me and Saeko,” Tanaka explains, a little disheartened. _At least Noya has my back._

Everyone except Sugawara, Nishinoya, Hinata and Tsukishima turn their heads down in shame. They let their imaginations go too far seeing that syringe. Yes, they should be concerned for their teammates, and anyone can have problems, but they assumed the worst right away. Thought he was a pervert, thought he was weird, thought all sorts of things.

Ennoshita quickly recovering from his shame chimes in, “so I guess the other things are Saeko’s too?”

“What? No, of course not. They’re mine. Why would Saeko have that??” Tanaka remarked. They’re an honest person and don’t really grasp the situation they’re in. They’re thought process is pretty simple: Saeko wouldn’t have that sort of thing in the first place. Saeko’s never needed it.

“They’re yours?” Kageyama asks, starting to grasp that he might have just learned something new about his upperclassman today.

“That’s what I said, dammit.”

Ennoshita laughs, “wow Tanaka, you’ll do anything for an excuse to talk with Shimizu won’t you?”

The room joins in and laughs, grateful for the explanation. Everyone knew how much Tanaka worshipped Shimizu.

Tanaka blushed and rubbed the back of their head. It’s true that they idolize Shimizu, there’s no denying that, but.

Tanaka objected, “hey hey hey hey, you’ve got it all wrong guys. It’s not like at all. It’s just; it’s really hard being the only one on your period around a bunch of guys, okay. **Especially** for Shimizu being a _lady_ manager for a  guys sports team! At least girls teams have tons of other girls to sympathize with and you can depend on them to have extras on hand if you need it.”

They take a breath before they continue, ”so yeah, I'll admit I told Shimizu about my stash, if she ever needs it. And her grateful smile is forever emblazoned in my mind as the single time she didn’t ignore me and it’s the greatest moment in my life, BUT I totally did it with the truest of intentions!!!"

“TANAKA, YOU’RE SO COOL!!!” Hinata shouts with his eyes starry and full of amazement. He can’t believe he knows someone this cool. Someone who would share their stuff with their manager just to make sure she’s not alone.

“SUCH A GREAT HERO!” Nishinoya joins in, moved by the emotion of the moment.

Kageyama glares at Hinata, wondering how his teammate could be so annoying.

Tsukishima sighs with relief, and Sugawara beams happily.

Asahi is still recovering from the whole scenario. Things got tense and he just needs a moment to return to a normal heart rate. He really feels Tsukishima sometimes. _Hot-blooded people will be the death of me,_ he thinks as he practices calming breath exercises.

The rest of the room settles for patting Tanaka on the back and giving him patronizing remarks about his undying affection for Shimizu.

Nishinoya grins as he takes care of his stuff before heading out. _The best part about this is that Ryuu didn’t even think of this as keeping up the charade. There’s no charade. That was their real reaction to the whole thing. They’re just that genuine. I don’t even have to ask if they’re okay, because they wouldn’t get why I was asking. Sure, they were legitimately worried about what people thought of Saeko, but not for themself one bit. The only reason the whole team doesn’t know about them being nonbinary is that Ryuu doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Well and that Ryuu’s mom hassled the school about their policies on gender so that way Ryuu could play mens volleyball. They are who they are, and nothing’s gonna to change that._

Tanaka walks over to Nishinoya and starts mumbling about how people need to show their sister some respect and not think of her so poorly, what even would make people think that about her anyway?

Nishinoya just puts his arms around their shoulder and heartily replies, “I don’t know man, I don’t know.”

 

* * *

 

When they get home, Tanaka sees Saeko sprawled out over the couch playing another one of her videogames. He takes the bagged syringe out of his bag and plops it on her lap.

“You left something of yours in my bag btw, Sis. Here ya go.”

She nods her head absentmindedly in thanks and zones back into slaughtering zombies on the screen.

-Bzzzt-

Tanaka looked at their phone, expecting to see a text from Nishinoya, 

**From: Kageyama**

**What are your pronouns?**

Tanaka quickly types their response, smiling a little bit.

**To: Kageyama**

**They/them**


	4. When I Was Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little extra.
> 
> It happens sometime after the previous chapter like maybe a few days, into the next week after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another song title for the chapter title!
> 
> So my thought going into this is that the first-years all hang out even though they don't get along right away (oh and I didn't quite know how to write Yachi so this is pre-Yachi)

 

Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kageyama, and Hinata are all sitting together in comfortable silence until Yamaguchi decides to break it. He needs to know what everyone else knew/thought.

He musters up his courage and says, “so.”

Kageyama looks up and stares at Yamaguchi challengingly. He knows what this is about and he wants everyone to know that he won’t stand for any nonsense about Tanaka. He retorts harshly with, “so?”

Yamaguchi realizes that Kageyama knows. Kageyama knows and is going to look out for Tanaka. He’s a bit relieved.

Tsukishima thinks this is a bit ridiculous and wearily says, “so, what?”

Kageyama and Yamaguchi nod. He’s right, no need to continue this. We all know that we all know, and knowing doesn’t change anything. Tanaka is still Tanaka after all.

Kageyama and Yamaguchi chorus a resolute, “so.” Now, everyone’s on the same page. Everyone except...

“What? What just happened? So. So? So what? So???? That’s not even a real conversation?? Guys, tell me. Come on!” Hinata whines.

Tsukishima just grimaces and puts on his headphones. He didn’t sign up for babysitting a screeching shrimp. 

Yamaguchi laughs as Kageyama shakes his head.

“Dumbass Hinata.”

Hinata rolls his eyes. “That’s not a real answer, Bakayama! Tell me, TELL mE tELL Me. TELLLLLL MEEEE.”

Kageyama sighs, “we were just talking about what happened with Tanaka in the clubroom earlier, oh my gosh. Are you happy now??!”

“Oh I know! Tanaka was soooo cooool back there wasn’t he? I guess I should pack tampons and stuff in my bag in case he ever needs it, and for Shimizu too! I can’t believe I never thought of it sooner! I mean I’m a big brother and Natsu is growing older everyday!”

Tsukishima, Yamagachi, and Kageyama sit there shellshocked.

_Hinata knows?!_

 Kageyama coughs, “if **they** ever need it.”

“Oh!!!!! If they ever need it, and Shimizu too!” Hinata corrects himself, carrying on business as usual.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata knew from the moment he saw the tampons/pads. He's very straightforward and to him the thought process was: people who have periods carry around pads and the like, Tanaka carries around pads and the like, Tanaka probably has periods (he was willing to be wrong but that was his initial conclusion). Not all people with periods are girls, Tanaka hasn't said they were a girl, Tanaka is probably not a girl. Tanaka hasn't said they were a boy, but also hasn't said they weren't a boy, they're in the mens volleyball team and lets people use he/him pronouns, tanaka probably uses he/him pronouns.
> 
> \--  
> Also: 
> 
> The song titles come from the band Blink-182! Congrats to those who knew, and congrats to those who didn't! Both of you got to learn what one of my favorite bands is! I'm lucky to have seen them live a few years back along with MCR before they broke up. I really lucked out with that concert and its what I consider my first "real" concert (although I had been to some before, I don't really count them since I didn't really choose to go, my parents brought me along)


End file.
